Betrayal is one of the worst feelings, but it’s much worse when it comes from a close relative. Josie was distraught to learn that her son had lied to her. The devoted mother decided to give her house to her son and his young bride so they could comfortably start a family. But things happened in a way Josie could never have imagined. She wrote to us sharing her story and requesting advice.
Salutations, Josie Thank you for sharing your story with us. We hope you find these recommendations helpful.
Seek therapy or mediation.
Call a family meeting and schedule it with an experienced counselor or mediator. Assure your son and daughter-in-law of your grief and deception caused by their dishonesty.
The mediator can help to create a healthy conversation regarding your expectations, feelings, and current living condition. Finding a middle ground will help you come to a decision that recognizes your sacrifice and addresses your concerns about the mother-in-law visiting.
Rethink your living situation.
Talk about it and present an alternative plan of action that considers everyone’s needs.As an example, suggest that your son-in-law and daughter-in-law search for a smaller place to live for themselves and the mother-in-law while you reclaim your own house.
You can help them out financially if necessary, but make sure they understand that your pledge to give them the house was made with the goal of them starting a family and not living with an adult.
To find out more about your rights regarding the property, see a lawyer. If the house is still legally yours, you have the option to withdraw your gift. Knowing your legal rights can help you make informed decisions and could even convince your son and daughter-in-law to abide by the original stipulations, even if you won’t receive the property back immediately.
Self-sufficient living options.
Instead of living with your sister, consider more comfortable and fulfilling independent living possibilities for yourself. This might entail selling the house and using the proceeds to purchase an apartment or other smaller property for yourself so that you can live independently without feeling taken advantage of.
Finally, have a conversation with your family and let them know that you need to change the present arrangement for your personal health and that you’re dissatisfied with it as it stands.
